Dec 15, 2009

Lesson 19een: This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.-Homer Simpson

The greatest fictional character that Man ever created, apart of jesus of course.

  • All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer
  • America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain... well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
  • Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
  • Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead.
  • Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.? The kids can call you Hoju!
  • Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
  • Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
  • Here's to alcohol: The source of-and answer to-all of life's problems.
  • I hope I didn't brain my damage.
  • I wonder where Bart is, his dinner's getting all cold, and eaten.
  • If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
  • Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!
  • Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.
  • Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
  • Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman --and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.
  • No! No-no-no-no-no-no! Well, yes.
  • No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. Thats the American way.
  • Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
  • OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!
  • Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!
  • They have the Internet on computers, now?
  • In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!
  • Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things!
  • I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
  • Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
  • When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
  • Homer no function beer well without.
  • All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
  • 'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?
  • When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.
  • Save me, Jeebus
  • No beer and no TV make Homer go something something
  • “What!? are you going to release the dogs? or the bees? or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you!?”
  • Kids are the best, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the Internet and all.
  • Does this make me look fat?
  • We're going out Marge. If we dont come back avenge our death.
  • Marge, I swear I never thought that you would find out.
  • I discover a meal between breakfast and brunch.
  • In America, first you get the sugar. Then you get the power. Then you get the women.

...and of course the mother of all quotes---> D'oh!

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